Its funny what can change in a few days. As I started my diet and am now on day 2, I am sad to report that not much has changed in the ass area. However, whats funny is how much joy I have realized that food brings me (which is what got me here in the first fuggin place). I recognize this joy in its excruciating absence. While my coffee and hazelnut creamer with a granola bar used to bring me so much pleasure in the morning, it has been replaced with black coffee and water. I ACTUALLY looked forward to the black coffee today because at least it was SOMETHING.
Day 1 of my 7 day hell consisted of ONLY fruit and cabbage soup. I enjoyed yummy Watermelon, Strawberries and Blueberries for breakfast but then had to endure the rest of the day with Cabbage Soup for meals. Oh yea, I had an apple for a snack. I tried to end the torture early by going to bed at 7 pm.
Here is what I have to look forward to for the rest of the week.
Im sure everyone has tried a “crash diet” at some point in their lives. Whether it is getting ready for an event, wedding, or bikini season, we humans love short-cuts when it comes to dieting. Or is it just me? After hearing me complain about being fat for the 100th time, my roommate made an excellent suggestion, The Cabbage Soup Diet. The details of this rigorous and gruesome plan can be found here.
For the next 7 days, I will be conducting an experiment that involves the complete torture of my will power. Hopefully, I will be able to decrease my fat-ass ass. Yea you read that right. It wasn’t a typo. Certain concerns have arose from a certain skeptical someone (Dr. Sam). Sam seems to think that I will just put the weight right back on after the 7 days. On the contrary my dear doctor, the cabbage soup EXPERT says that hypnosis is the only way to keep the weight off. So I am currently shopping around for a good hypnotist.
This should be interesting. Stay tuned.