Being Neurotic includes a little bit of narcissism which leads to immaturity and translates into a lack of responsibility. Or at least, this is what my mother has always told me about myself. Like the time I told her that I wanted a dog. She said, “Suze, not only are you not ready for a dog, but you are so caught up in your own life that you will forget about the dog and leave the gate open, and then the dog will get hit by a car. It is really sad when dogs get run over and die, Suze.”
Those words rang in my ears for months after my “dog kick.” I even had a nightmare about it. Actually, in my dream, my mother threw my dog into the street and it got run over. How about that for some symbolism?
I think that would adequately explain my feelings of terror when my parents surprised me with a new puppy on Christmas morning. I thought, “Is this some sick joke, Mother?” When I met the little fella, there was no doubt we would be instant soul mates. My terror of being a negligent owner melted away and I am such a proud new Mommy! Meet, Hank!
I know I know! You’ve never seen a cuter dog, right?
Of course my grandmother, Tully, came over during the excitement and rolled her eyes. She said, “Suzannahhhh, I have figured out what is wrong with you and your cousins. When I was your age, I had two children, I think this is a sign that all of you girls DESPERATELY want children.”
Well no shit, Tully, who doesn’t want a few illegitimate babies running around? Don’t try and get all philosophical with me and ruin my puppy buzz. But any who, Tully deserves a few posts to herself. That Batch.
Hank and I are best pals, I call him hanky, he calls me panky, its pretty cute.
Neurotically Anonymous 