Facebook has become a superlative nightmare. It is a competition over who can be the most thankful, the most blessed, the most happily married, most happily engaged, most happily knocked up, the best dressed, wittiest, most spiritual, most philosophical, best all around, most athletic, most provocative, most ghetto fabulous, most artsy fartsy, most likely to become a serial killer, most cute kids, most reminiscent, most opinionated, most alternatively opinionated, most political, most likely to sell all of their belongings on a facebook trading page, most likely to be so fuggin’ annoying that you unsubscribe from their post altogether.

In all honesty, Facebook is way worse than high school because it is a false reality. People only post things that they want their peers to see. At least in high school, the superlatives had some fuggin hard evidence, with semi-unbiased support. The most likely to succeed was ACTUALLY the most likely, and they proved it with actions, not keystrokes. Now, whether that person succeeded or not, is another issue. And like high school, facebook annoyance grows towards those who are the “most” at anything.

For example, all of those fuggin people who are competing to be considered the most happy. Talk about annoying! If you are posting about how happy you are all the time, shut up because nobody believes you. I’m not saying that I want to see more depressing posts, I’m just asking that you losers tone it down a little bit. Your blessed and happy life is the last thing I want to read.

And when did it become ok for people to take mirror selfie shots again? Wasn’t that a cliché back in 2006? Mirror shots have somehow made a comeback after their painful rise to the most annoying thing on the internet back during myspace days. What superlative would I give you people who take mirror selfie shots of your abdomen? Most likely to be sexting with Anthony Weiner.

If anyone feels the need to vent about annoying facebook habits, please feel free.